baiti jannati

Baiti jannati or 'home sweet home' is in my heart. It means simply when I am home (whether the home is kost-kost-an, mess-mess-an or kontrak-kontrak-an, whatever, however and wherever the home looks like) my heart is in my home where it belongs. I wish a companion of my whole life should be a devoted companion that my heart can feel deeply and honestly without doubt and reason (soulmate? probably.. one and once wholelife and after life/jannah atas izin dan ridho Alloh). Single life is not my way of life, because it's not an Islamic way of life either, but I don't choose this way. I am not a person who does not care of this issue in my life, not a person who does not make hard efforts (ikhtiar), but sometimes people surroundings who so-called friends do care but.. well sometimes they sought in different angles.

1. choosy a.k.a pilih-pilih

am I? what on earth? kalo pilih-pilih mih eh mah.. tak usah lah setia pada sebuah relationship, saat masih muda-muda nya dulu (hehe..) dan punya kesempatan milih I could have just left him and berkhianat.. Cateeeet.. juga 1 tahun aku melakoni sebuah matrimonial via internet khusus muslim-muslimah isn't that a big deal for an effort? gara-gara seorang kawan baik membuatkan account untuk ku dengan baik hatinya hingga aku stuck 1 tahun padahal bertahun-tahun sebelumnya aku paling anti 'blind efforts', emangnya pilih-pilih sepatu? I knew it and still I knew it that it wasn't me at all.. anyway lumayan lah buat having fun melihat dampak signifikan pasang foto diri yang kubikin buram-buram temaram bahkan sekilas mirip... hantu..!

2. materialistic a.k.a matre

ditto number 1.

3. career oriented

Wah.. I am from a family who is backboned by our beloved-devoted-hardworking father supported by our beloved-devoted-hardworking mother demi bekal hidup anak-anaknya.. sekolah layak dan bekerja. Why should I give up my career?

4. study oriented

ditto number 3.

5. I am unfair and selfish. I do not want to share and burden my life with dependants.

Aren't they lucky to get easier destinies to find someone without broken-heart stories, married, having kids and establish households/real baiti jannati? Aren't they lucky that they are going to meet the same person as 'bidadara/i' as a couple in jannah? Fortunately janji Alloh tak ada penghuni jannah-Nya yg seorang diri melainkan akan ditemani bidadara/i sebagai jelmaan amal sholehnya di dunia jika bukan pasangan hidupnya di dunia. Again, I am not a person who does not care of this issue in my life, not a person who does not make hard efforts (ikhtiar), but unfortunately I am not as lucky as them.

Or probably I am still in a process of life to apply teachings of Islam that 'manusia diciptakan berpasang-pasangan..' 'muslim/muslimah yg baik untuk muslim/muslimah yg baik..' 'Alloh yang akan meng-karuniakan perasaan cinta/senang..' 'a brief ta'aruf is enough before walimatur'ursy/marriage'.. However I do not unaccept polygami concepts and yatim-piatu guardian/adoption with extra fully thought, carefulness, and legal.